Menace

Power is intoxicating. Everyone loves having the ability to make their decisions into reality — to think "this should be something that happens," and then actually be able to make that thing happen. 

It is also dangerous. 

And it is especially dangerous when applied to four-year-olds. 

Four-year-olds lack the experience to wield power responsibly. They have no idea what to do with it or how to control it.


But they like it.


The dinosaur costume was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. The previous Halloween, which was the first Halloween I could actually remember, my parents had dressed me as a giant crayon, and the whole experience had been really uncomfortable for me.


But being a dinosaur felt natural.


And powerful. 


The feeling had been slowly intensifying ever since I put the costume on that morning, and, as I stood there in the middle of the classroom, staring off into the distance in an unresponsive power trance, it finally hit critical mass.

I had to find some way to use it. Any way. Immediately.


The other children screamed and fled. The teacher chased me, yelling at me to stop. But I couldn't stop.  I was a mindless juggernaut, a puppet for forces far greater than myself. I had completely lost control of my body. 


All I knew was that being a dinosaur felt very different from being a person, and I was doing things that I had never even dreamed of doing before.


Of course, I had always had the ability to do these things — even as a person — but I didn't know that. I'd just assumed that I was unable.  As a dinosaur, I didn't have any of those assumptions.  It felt like I could do whatever I wanted without fear of repercussions.


The repercussions were also exactly the same as they were before I became a dinosaur.


I just experienced them differently.


My parents had to come pick me up at noon that day.  The teacher explained that it must have been all the Halloween candy.  "Some kids really can't handle sugar," she said.  "It turns them into little monsters."


I suppose it was a reasonable enough conclusion, but it only served as a distraction from the real problem.


The thing about being an unstoppable force is that you can really only enjoy the experience of being one when you have something to bash yourself against. You need to have things trying to stop you so that you can get a better sense of how fast you are going as you smash through them. And whenever I was inside the dinosaur costume, that is the only thing I wanted to do.


The ban on sugar provided a convenient source of resistance. As long as I was not supposed to eat sugar, I could feel powerful by eating it anyway. 


I'm sure the correlation started to seem rather strong after a while. I'd find some way to get sugar into myself, and then — drunk on the power of doing something I wasn't supposed to —I would lapse into psychotic monster mode. To any reasonable observer, it would appear as though I was indeed having a reaction to the sugar.


My parents were so confused when the terror sprees continued even after the house had been stripped of sugar. They were sure they had gotten rid of all of it. . . did I have a stash somewhere? Was I eating bugs or something?

They still weren't suspicious of the costume.  


I lost weeks in a power-fueled haze. I often found myself inside the costume without even realizing I had put it on. One moment, I would be calmly drawing a picture, and the next I'd be robotically stumbling toward my closet where the dinosaur costume was and putting myself inside it.

It started to happen almost against my will.


Surely my parents made the connection subconsciously long before they became aware of what was really going on. After weeks of chaos, each instance punctuated by the presence of the costume, I have to imagine that the very sight of the thing would have triggered some sort of Pavlovian fear response.


They did figure it out eventually, though.


And the costume was finally taken away from me.


I was infuriated at the injustice of it all. I had become quite dependent on the costume, and it felt like part of my humanity was being forcibly and maliciously stripped away.  I cursed my piddling human powers and their uselessness in the situation. If only I could put on the costume . . .  just one more time.


But that was the costume's only weakness — it couldn't save itself. I had to watch helplessly as it disappeared inside a trash bag. 

There was nothing I could do.


And so my reign of power came to an end, and I slowly learned to live as a person again.





937 comments:

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Sarah said...

Wow, great timing. I just went back through and read all of your old posts and when I had just finished, you posted again. Fantastic.

Just so you know, your posts are still funny on the second and third reading.

You Rock!

chaz judy said...

The Dinosaur never completely leaves, it comes out after too much Scotch and Dr Pepper and turns one into a unstoppable force of evil. I enjoy your brainisms. Cheers!

Serendipitous said...

This was fantastic - I almost choked on dinner when I saw it. I have a picture of my little sister in the exact same costume (my mom made it for her when she was like 5). She then passed it down to my little brother, and there was a running little joke in our family because he liked to wear costumes (squirrel, dinosaur, etc.) even when it was not Halloween.

Anonymous said...

I can make you a dinosaur costume.

And other people, much much better at sewing than I am could probably make you one that actually looks like a dinosaur.

Beth said...

I really wish the costume had gone to Goodwill! I work at a Goodwill and I have a coworker who puts on everything dinosaur related he can get his hands on. Literally. This is a grown ass man who I have seen running around the store wearing a dinosaur onesie on his head. I would pay good money to see him in your old dinosaur costume.

So awesome to have you back! I live for Hyperbole updates!

Peace and Love!

TJ said...

This is exactly how it worked for me when I started doing street theater at a Renaissance festival behind heavy makeup. The disguise gives you ultimate power!

Anonymous said...

OH my god!!!!
I was planning to disguise myself into a dinosaur this Halloween!!!
Now I can't wait!!!
RRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaa!

Ryan Vennell said...

Great. Thanks. Now I want sugar and a dinosaur costume.

Anonyvox said...

Awesome! I could feel the thrill of power, and I also love how you drew yourself looking for adults to notice and try to stop you.

Glad to see you!

Heather D said...

For me it was Wonder Woman. I didn't even need the underoos, I was convinced if I did the wonderspin the right way... 5 stitches later, I guess I figured I was stuck being me.

vkacademy said...

Obviously you need a dinosaur costume. But not one of the cheesy "Sexy Dinosaur" costumes they make for the ladeez.

American Tantra said...

My youngest son has a fuzzy wolf hat with ears sort of Wild Things style that has the sane effect on him :)

Tim LeeWehage said...

I recently started reading your blog after my supervisor introduced me to it (we work in mental health). You are awesome! I almost peed reading this, as I was laughing so hard. Thank you. I have an almost 3 year old boy who is already showing signs of power discovery. Lol. You have a very eloquent, daring, and clarity about you. Thank you for being you--if that's who you are...

lsconte said...

huh, maybe that's why leopard print is always so popular!!

SomeJerk said...

Really just spectacular work on this one.

KatiCass87 said...

YESSSS

This was perfect. I love that you did a trick or treating story right near the holiday. I get so excited when people run Halloween themed things in October, like television show Halloween episode specials, etc.

Anyhoo thanks!

PS: I can't wait for your book to ship on the 29th!

Katie

Anonymous said...

Heh..I totally had the same problem with my spiderman costume...problem was I was 23 at the time ;)

Anonymous said...

This is amazing! Thank you!

HipChick73 said...

You are brilliant. BRILLIANT. I am SO glad to see you have come back from the menace and that you are finding your way to being human again.

You. Are. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

My mother made me a cute red devil costume when I was five. Unfortunately, I didn't take advantage of the power I could have absorbed from it--maybe it's not too late?

GingerKR said...

The Allieawesomesaurus. Missed you!

Amber Henry said...

sugar = power.

amen.

p.s. this is awesome.

Sharon Jackson said...

With my granddaughter it was the giant chicken costume.

MoogleSam said...

...But you have a dinosaur costume now called Bruno or something similar from my memory. YOU STILL HAVE RAMPAGE POTENTIAL.

squishe)'(e said...

Wonderful!
And to any Burning Man participants out there, I truly enjoyed reading it while substituting the word "burner" for "dinosaur".
Whatever your costume is I hope you take it back.

Unknown said...

WHAT A SAD ENDING D::::: i wish you ran to the goodwill, exploded it with your screams, and ran inside, grabbed the costume, and become known as the godzallie of the playground.

but youre awesome enough that you don't need a costume to be powerful :)

LOVE!

Anonymous said...

Not bad. Also, am I the only one that finds it super annoying how people seem to be overly praiseworthy with regard to your content? I mean, I likes your stuffs and it's good times, but the whole "i'm SOO glad you are posting things and this is the BEST thing EVAR, please don't ever be SAD because i'm so extra specially inappropriately happy about anything you do" thing just feels contrived and detracts from the actuality of your contribution to humanity. Also, thanks!

Brent Stewart said...

This is a really interesting story because sugar doesn't actually cause hyperactivity in children; usually the perceived "hyperactivity" is just caused by the kid being excited that they got candy/sweets or something, which actually matches the story.

... Fun fact.

breezebot said...

Amazing.

cfiguy said...

You remember being 4? I'm jealous. 0 through about 17 are pretty much just a haze.

- Sarah said...

Now I want to buy an adult size dinosaur pajama onesie.

Amy said...

So good. Such a good storyteller.

Lisa said...

You totally rocked those blue polka-dot underpants! Glad to see you back.

jim l said...

please be one for halloween this year. check your facebook, there's several companies that make adult ones :) you should feel that power again.

Ebella said...

My super powerful and completely invincible alter ego is Ginger Snaps! (My roller derby persona). When I wear the pads and lace up my skates...the power that surges through me is almost overwhelming...but then I broke my leg last night at practice and the doctor took away my power...er...skates...now to be a normal human for a while...I'll do the best I can, but I make no promises. I totally feel you Allie!

Anonymous said...

Welcome back Ally we missed you!

Anonymous said...

You're back! Yay! And this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Triple yay!

Casey Cole said...

Welcome back and thank you for making my morning SO much better. You rock too hard for one hand!

Reverend Samuel Griffith said...

I love you.

David Breslin said...

Reminds me of a character in the webcomic Something Positive who likes to stomp around in a sort of pink cuddly Godzilla costume (despite not having been a kid for some time). Maybe Dinosaur Therapy could become a thing- lots of us could do with a power-crazed rampage once in a while.

Alleycat said...

I love this story, love you! So glad you're back! Now, when is the book out Can't wait!

Anonymous said...

So awesome. Also - great to see you back at it. Reading your posts is like wearing a dinosaur costume.

Gonzo said...

Smiles, Allie. Thank you for smiles.

jarrod said...

OMG ALLIE IM SO HAPPY YOURE STILL ALIVE! we were worried about you :P

Cynthia said...

OMG, so glad you are back, I missed it at first on my feed and now I am happy.

Anonymous said...

I think you just described every cosplayer ever, just a little bit... (myself included, ngl)

Lauren Salkin said...

I have no doubt. : )

It's a relief to take off the costume and be who you really are. Though, there is nothing like the rush of sugar power.

Chey said...

I woke up to see this in my Facebook feed this morning -- Best. Birthday. Present. Ever.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

nice dinosaur drawing in the corner at school! very calvin-and-hobbes-esque!

Anonymous said...

So glad to see you back! Loved the story :)

Alba said...

As an adult you have the power to actually purchase another dinosaur costume... Does that mean you have the power to take over the world?

Sam Butler said...

Love seeing another post! Also congrats on your Best American Nonrequired Reading notable mention!

Jon said...

YAAAY ALLIE! I can't tell you how great it is to have you back.

Lorian said...

So happy to see your new post in my inbox!!! I loved it. :D

Laurie Brown said...

I'm so glad to see you back! Great strip!

Kristin Ingersoll said...

I was stuck with a BUNNY costume. All it did was make me hophophophophop. I'm a wee bit jealous. SO HAPPY to see you!!

Cornerstoregoddess said...

Gotta get me one of those dinosaur costumes. Rarrrrrrrr!

blahria said...

I think I developed some kind of childhood God Complex for a brief time when I was a kid after I was given a nurse's costume and a kiddy medical kit. I was curing people left, right and centre. So I thought.

Rakhshanda said...

Glad to see you posting again :-) I love getting to read your stories and I love your illustrations.

Anonymous said...

YAAAAAAAAAY new post!

THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY!

I HOPE IT MAKES YOU AS HAPPY AS IT MAKES ME!

:D

SurprisingWoman said...

This was so great! I have a friend that was going to dress her son as a dinosaur but decided against it. I sent her the link to this and she LOVED it. So funny.

You rawk. So glad you posted again.

Meirav Benedek said...

What do you do with the power of one-sided love from your creepy-stalker-blog readers? You can use us as pawns and get power-drunk. It's all good, no need for a dinosaur suit anymore O_o

Breea Curry said...

YOU WERE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THAT COSTUME MADE YOU DO. IT WAS ALL THE COSTUME, NONE OF IT WAS YOU.

Herr Katze said...

Just clicked on this blog's icon my bookmarks bar, thinking "Hey, I'll just read through some archiERMAGERDNEWPOST!!!!!!" Good that you're back!




Now never leeeave usss agaaainn...

Ruby said...

You had me laughing so hard. I love hearing from you :)

Z said...

YAY! Allie's back, Allie's back, ALLIE'S BACK!!!

And I didn't even need a dinosaur costume for that outrageous happy dance.

The red hobo said...

I had a helmet that empowered me as a 4 year old. It was a green helmet with a mouthguard based on characters from the cartoon Centurions. It made me jump from heights that I thought would kill me as a normal kid- empty 10 foot deep pool, trees, etc. I managed to avoid injury until I jumped from a loft bedroom in the house to the floor below.

audrey said...

Online anonymity has the same effect on some adults as your dino costume had on your kid self. I thought that's where you were going with this actually.

Lynz said...

Welcome back!! I missed you. Your stories are a much appreciated window... in and out. Thank you for what you do!

Fl33bl3 said...

The internet is a dinosaur costume.

Anonymous said...

Buy an adult one! I'm sure there are such things! You must!

Stacey C. said...

OMG this is one of the best stories yet. You are amazing and awesome!

Andrea said...

Love you!! <3

Anonymous said...

Also, raptor costume for dogs: http://www.amazon.com/Animal-Planet-PET20109-Raptor-Costume/dp/B004ZKU3XK/ref=cm_cmu_pg_i

Stan said...

I am reminded of this ancient cartoon: http://i.imgur.com/2euoc.jpg

No idea where it came from. Just something I saw years ago.

Skyfire said...

Wow, this made me sad. It also made me rethink dressing up my almost-3-year-old as Batman for Halloween. She's already incredibly powerful. I don't know if I could handle Batman powerful.

Anonymous said...

YAAAAAAY.

Now I feel like I was such a boring little kid, though. My costumes were always some shade of princess and/or glamour girl. My costume-fueled megalomania only extended as far as getting my hands on the red lipstick.

Eleanorjane said...

My favourite bit is the image of the dinosaur tail sliding out of sight around the corner. Love your work!

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35XI37SVVYI

Dusa said...

I think I had the same underwear. Well, not the same. Cause that would be creepy. And non-hygienic. And definitely weird.

And you in the corner as the metamorphed dino? Freakin' awesome.

lotsabaggageandnoidea said...

It is so wonderful to see you blogging again! And SO true! When i throw my unicorn onsie on..It feels the same way.

Kimberly said...

I really hope you'll put one of these dinosaur images on a shirt! I love it! My sister and I used to pretend to be t-rex's and see what we could and could not do. Got us into some trouble. Not going to lie.

rarasaur said...

I absolutely love this. It completely explains my obsession with dinosaurs. Apparently, I'm just power hungry. :)

Laura said...

It took me many years to discover that the garbage bin wasn't a black hole. The first time I realized I could just go get my "stolen" item from "the land of the lost things stolen by parents" was a day of heady power.

My parents had to hide the maraschino cherries.

What kid could resist neon coloured fruit that has been sitting in sugary syrup so long they've lost all nutritional value?

None. That's who.

Ann M said...

Allie, like a cool glass of water after a trek through the desert or dessert. Happy to see this!
I was a stupid Mom I never figured out the costume phenom and I made four, one for each child.

Anonymous said...

YES YOU CAME BACK. I've been hooked on your blog for 3-4 months but I just kept reading your old ones, but then you came back and now I'm so glad! You're hilarious!

Treefish said...

This made my day infinitely better! Thank you!

Tess Kann said...

You are awesome! :-D

Anonymous said...

Best day-before-birthday present ever. I love your work.

Anonymous said...

"SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN."

^How I felt today before deciding to check for an update. Beautiful job.

heather said...

i still have my dinosaur costume. perhaps i should start utilizing it better...

newpillowbook said...

I had a witch hat.

A wonderful pointy black witch hat that my mother struggled for weeks to make.

And when I wore it I was magic, because after all, I was a witch. Thanks, Mom!

And it's so great to see you posting again!!! Yay more Allie Hyperbole!!!!!

Calinda said...

OMG. I couldn't stop laughing. I was trying to read the best parts aloud to my husband as I went through this, but it was just wheezing and sounds between guffaws. This was so fantastic. <3

Mannimations said...

♥ ♥ ♥This was amazing and we love you and you must not disappear for so long again! ♥ ♥ ♥

Anonymous said...

Awesome Al! I don't think your power was ALL about the costume—it just brought it out in the open! It was painful getting rid of that costume—it remains one of my best sewing efforts. It was so worn out that I don't think your sister could have worn it anyway. Incidentally, sugar really is bad for you....stay away from it! ; ) (mom)

Coyote said...

Awesome to see a post from you! Love the dinosaur!

For me, it was becoming a vampire after my first halloween. I got caught faster than you, presumably because of all the children at school crying because I had "turned them into vampires," and they were afraid of burning to ash in sunlight.

Best wishes, and hope you are well.

Anonymous said...

I'm giving my Doberman an extra hug tonight. Welcome back.

Aileen said...

Need. Dinosaur. Costume. Thanks for posting, I LOVE your blog!

michaelant said...

Best visual storyteller on the web. And most hilarious.

molly n said...

Missed ya!! It's so great to have you back on the interwebs!

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you back! Me and you would have been best friends as children!
Lindsey

Maureen S said...

And now, that we are "adults", we can zip ourselves invisibly into our dinosaur costumes...... and let loose the dogs of WAR!!!!
hee hee hee
Thanks for sharing that Allie, that was great.

Nymphadora said...

A truly delightful read, I'm so glad you're back. I just love the way you write, it makes my insides smile.
Thankyou :)

Anonymous said...

love your work yay you!

Unknown said...

Reminds me of me at 5- "Lions get 2 pieces!"

Amanda said...

My son had a bumblebee costume that had a similar effect on him... It's quite the slippery slope, this Halloween tradition.

Christina Elliott said...

Im sooooooo sooooo sooooo happy your back!!!! please write more !!!!!

Michelle said...

I think my version of the dinosaur costume was a She-Ra one. I was so badass in it.

Also, I declare you a national treasure. I can do that. I'm American and awesome.

wonderbread988 said...

I wore a batman cape almost everyday for a year when I was four. I'd like to think I used my powers for good.

Jenn said...

Epic post and such great storyboarding with it. Just brilliant. Your posts are like rare jewels to be treasured and taken out and looked at - and appreciated - again and again.

Anonymous said...

Bruce! the early years! sweeeeet!

Anonymous said...

Stop touching me!!!

Are we there yet?

Cynthia said...

Thank you very much Ms Brosh!

kristin said...

I have a feeling that Bruce's existence has a lot to do with your history of power-inducing dinosaur costumes. The dinosaur within you seems to when you're ready and takes over. Just dress like a dinosaur everyday Allie. Pamper yourself with dinosaur skins and all their benefits. Nobody can stop your ascension.

Unknown said...

Thank you for the wonderful new post! I think the first picture in this story would make an excellent 3'x3' poster.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant :D

I loved the sequencing of pictures in this one. Especially the few which lead to the 'pavlovian fear response'; the glazed eyes, the tail slinking round the corner..
Love it!

rustydoodle said...

Didn't know that a dinosaur costume is so empowering! I need to get one for myself! :D

Awesome post and lots of detailed drawings in this post!

MoonChild02 said...

I had a similar reaction to a cheerleader costume I had when I was in preschool. From a shy, quiet girl who sat in the corner, I became a bossy snob in that costume. Although, I'm sure ti would have been just as fun to be a dinosaur that terrorized the town!

Welcome back, Allie!

Valerie Davis said...

"It will only cause problems for someone else." Ha! A haunted dinosaur costume!

Jilly said...

Yaaaaaaaay! You're back!

Anonymous said...

So happy that youre posting again!

Brooke Oliver said...

I LOVE YOU ALLIE! I check your blog EVERY MORNING to see if you post something; my entire day is officially MADE now. That was HILARIOUS and the drawings were PERFECT.

Booma said...

I can't help but feel like this is exactly what Calvin felt when he donned his Stupendous Man costume.

Adina Sobo said...

Oh, the joys of being someone else, if only for a little while! I'm several people myself -- couldn't do my job otherwise.

Naomi Houser said...

I am guessing that this MUST be the reason for the one you created (besides its amazing capacity to keep you warm in below freezing temperatures)?

Either way, I believe that in life, we all need dinosaur costumes. Not because of the power we can wield while wearing it, but because of the power it makes us feel of ourselves. When faced with situations we feel too timid to handle, we can put ourselves in our mental dinosaur suit (obviously a mental dinosaur suit is not as good as a real one) and kick the shitcrabs out of any situation we confront.

Stay strong, Allie! Great to see you posting again.

Anonymous said...

YAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!

I KNEW if I waited long enough and clicked your blog every day, surely another story would be posted. Surely.

Yay for my magic clicking on the blog.

(Also, I suppose, Yay Allie!, since, yeah, you did a bit more than just click a link every day... thanks!!!)

Anonymous said...

So glad to see you back in action! :)

Anonymous said...

welcome, welcome back.... :-)

Anonymous said...

That's one thing about being an adult, you KNOW you don't need the dinosaur costume, but you can go buy one anytime you want.

P.S. RAWR!

vanesa cruz said...

I love this post! It made me laugh and so glad to see you back. :-)

Anonymous said...

Welcome back, Allie! So nice to see you posting again now that your book is due out in 3 weeks! Nothing disingenuous about that at all! We all look forward to you not posting again after all of your books have sold out and you've taken everyone's money! Yay!

dougssunrise said...

YAY!!!! Love you, love the post, love the blog, and SO looking forward to the book!!

Anonymous said...

<3

Theo van Gogh said...

Yeah, well my parents never did figure out the costume. I'm still wearing it!!

Wendy said...

Go good to see you!

Anonymous said...

All the superpowers lay within the costumes.

Steve Safigan said...

Your blog entries are, like, 5 of the 7 funniest things on the internet-- and 2 of the 3 most touching.

Jakob said...

Awesomeness squared...loved it :)

The Cosmos said...

YAYAYAY I LOOOOVVEEE IIITTT!!!! :)

Alisa said...

YOUR BOOK IS ON NETGALLEY!

*whispers*
Please let me get accepted. Please let me get accepted. Pretty please let me be accepted. I can't wait a few more weeks.

Carolynn the Dyer said...

Halloweeeeeen! Yay!

Also, I will never let my children dress as dinosaurs. Thanks for the warning.

Judith Morehouse said...

New post! And, best of all, it's a Halloween post! Hysterical!

tkc said...

Ha! I half expected the last line to be, "...and that is why I'm running for congress!"

Mary said...

I can relate to this story in so many ways! I love it. Good wishes to you from Sagle.

Anonymous said...

I actually just yelled out loud when I clicked on your page and found a new post! Now all of the fancy-adult office people are staring at me like I'm retarded. I'm now trying to look super busy by typing this in the comment box and trying not to laugh while doing so. That is all.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the new post! =)

Kim Campbell said...

OMG! Relief! A new post!!! YAYAY! YAY CAN'T WAIT FOR THE BOOOOOK!!! I fucking LOVE you!!!

Laurie said...

That's adorable. You have an delightfully awesome mind, and I love to read you from the perspective of any age. When I was little and would go to the basement to get canned tomatoes or what have you for my mom, I liked to pretend the floor was lava, so I had to climb on things to get to the shelf. If I accidentally touched the ground, I just made up something like a raft. Because otherwise I would be dead and the game would be over.

Anonymous said...

RRAWRR!

Anonymous said...

I've just discovered you and hope it's just in time because you're back. I'm addicted to your comedy!!! I was hooked immediately when I read the dogs/moving post. Thanks for being a bright light to all of us out here. I hope you're back! Yay!

Eileen said...

I feel I must share this. My father made an extraordinary R2D2 costume for me. It was sturdy, tough! The dome was plaster over chicken mesh and painted silver! There were lights inside and switches I could hit to turn them on and a port for me to hold my bag up to for candy to fall in! It was awesome. In my 3rd year wearing it, I, too, thought I had it! I finally was the coolest thing around! I ran at one point to catch up with some kids when I tripped. Imagine you are wearing a garbage can down to your knees ... and you fall forward.
Yeah. That.
The moral: we all fall eventually - so keep your candy close.

modernangel said...

I wish you had one of those facebook "like" buttons on each post so we could "like" each post as much as we like you.

Anonymous said...

It's a very good thing you're not a Just-a-female-friend of mine, otherwise my girlfriend would be extremely jealous; and rightfully so. I'd more than likely hang out with you much more often than I hang out with her. I'd be a much worse boyfriend.

I still wouldn't cheat physically, although you're hot, but it would probably border on emotional cheating. I just like the way you write, and while there's nothing about this that doesn't feel creepy stalkerly to write, but it's honest and that's what I am.

Christine R said...

And that is exactly what the psychology of "dress the part" is all about :-)

Medea_Taleswapper said...

So very pleased to have a new post! Also - very funny! :)

Shannon said...

I am suddenly questioning my decision to allow my 4 year old to be a dragon for Halloween.

Liz said...

OMG I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING. YOU'RE AMAZING and please stay!!

Anonymous said...

Allie, I absolutely LOVE your blog. I check your page every day to see if you updated c: Your posts have made me laugh until I've cried, they're so funny and they're written so well. Thank you so much for working so hard with all these and making us all smile (: I can't wait to keep reading more and I'll be buying your book soon!!! :D

Amritorupa said...

Great to see you're back! Loved the new post.

BODIE said...

Yay, the dinosaur is back. Great to hear from you Allie.

Meow Opre said...

I was browsing for really scary, funny, amazing, cool, clever,dyi and unique Halloween costumes and so I found this post. I hope it’s fine with you if I could pin some to my Pinterest boards. Thank you so much and keep on sharing informative posts !

Bryan Allard said...

First, let me say that you have brought me laughter and tears in both the brightest and darkest of times, and I feel that we are kindred ADHD spirits, despite my ridiculously serious tone and probably overly formal style. You're great, and I hope we can be friends someday. No homo.

Second, I'm really unsure of what your dinosaur anecdote means to convey. Power is intoxicating, and let's face it -- sugar is fantastic, but unrelated to our desire to dominate and disregard society's frantic and unrelenting pleas to conform.

However, the last line of your most recent dinosaur-power-post spoke to me in an uncanny sort of way. You said that your reign of power came to an end, and that you slowly learned to live as a person again.

What did you mean? I'm sure you're very busy with your book writing and publisher talking and your fame enjoying, but I'd love to hear more about what inspired this story if you want to respond to my comment and avoid doing actually important work.

bjallard1990@gmail.com - I'm not sure how blogs work, but that's how you can avoid work and tell me more about your dinosaur story. :) I look forward to hearing from you.

tarator said...

Gorgeous focus shift!

Jen said...

You are brilliant

Anonymous said...

Hi Allie!

First time commenter. I just want to thank you for writing the stuff that you do :) I know sometimes it's probably really frustrating and tiring to do so; but I want to let you know that I (and I'm sure many other people) really enjoying reading about your past experiences. I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate the time and effort you put into these posts :)

I hope you have been feeling better lately. I had a close friend who told me she had depression this summer; and reading about what you posted, inspired me a bit to do more research on a topic I had not known much about; and ultimately really helped me communicate with her better than I had previously (I was one of the "let me help you find your fish" people prior).

Pre-ordered and can't wait for your book to ship out!

Warm regards,
A fan from California

Ayesha Khatri said...

i really enjoyed this post.

i'm ur new follower. I wouldbe glad if you follow my blog too

Ayesha Khatri said...

i really enjoyed this post.

i'm ur new follower. I wouldbe glad if you follow my blog too

Cindy Holt said...

Best pictures ever!

Anonymous said...

I love this! It's awesome! :D

Jaclyn Ross said...

YES. Just... yes.
And no more leaving! It's like you were wielding your immense power over US! ;-)

Hans Miniar Jónsson said...

That's it... I'm making a dinosaur costume!

Anonymous said...

This was so incredibly awesome.

I laughed continuously, while thinking hard about the meta.

I found your blog a few months ago and am wondering what's this about a book? Because I must have it.

Kay

Anonymous said...

Brill story. I hope your book is selling well btw, n that there'll be another in the works =)

Mary said...

I love the slightly disoriented look you are wearing in most of the pictures... it so clearly illustrates the headspace you were in.

Wonderful as always- reading your blog never fails to brighten my day. Thank you SO much!

India Pearl said...

I'm so effing happy you're back. This blog makes my life happier.

Moobug said...

My son has a full-body dinosaur rainsuit, complete with spines and hood... should I be concerned? ;)

My discovery of your newest post has coincided with my preordering of your book, by the way.

Also, as a teacher can I put in a request for the Alot in poster form? :D

Dave Harmon said...

Welcome back! You are amazingly good at bringing us back into the mind of a young child. Also, I'm starting to think I was a boring kid.

Weenie said...

LOVE IT :D
So glad you're back!

Cathal said...

Kind of Lord of the Flies-esque reaction. 'Cept without the killing and the whatnot.

Darkstorm said...

I had a homemade dragon costume like that one year. It was awesome, and had a giant decorated cardboard box for a head, and a large tail and horns that stuck far out from my little child body. Once I realized that I could knock my horns and tail into things and people would think it was an accident because I didn't have good peripheral vision in the costume, I started knocking things over and hitting people with it on purpose because it was funny and made me feel like the powerful dragon I was meant to be.

dinosaurrrr said...

OMG THANK YOU ALLIE THIS JUST MADE MY DAY. YOU'RE THE BEST. <3 <3 <3

Tiffany Ma said...

This made my day :)

Sarah said...

Great to "see" you, even in costume! Jaws and King Kong were my best friends when I was four - I think there's some correlation here..

Hope you're doing well. Most sincerely.

Anonymous said...

The part where your parents are all, "Boy that kid really likes that costume, ha ha" and then later where it slowly begins to dawn on them, like in a film where the hero FINALLY figures out what was going on all along, complete with flashbacks. It's cartoon noir! (I was laughing so hard that when my bf asked what was so funny, I couldn't talk. Just sort of gestured toward the screen and kept laughing.)

SpagattahNadle said...

Ohmigoodness I was so excited when that notification popped up in my email! And this post certainly doesn't disappoint! I can't wait for the next post!

Robyn said...

I heart you! My sister sent me the spider story and I have been hooked ever since. You are pretty much totally rad. :)

Anonymous said...

You are amazingly clever and wonderful for sharing these stories with the world. So many people can relate to every word. Thank you, Allie.
- Rebecca

Andres said...

Hah, you scared the shit out of that wimpy little wizard kid. Good job!

Lubaina E. said...

HAHHAHAHAHA.
Awesome post, Allie! :D
Made my day. :)

Runningberry said...

So glad the dinosaur has gone. We love you Allie Brosh.

Tore Nielsen said...

The rise and resocialization of a super-villain. Wonderful as always. Thank you.

Rhonda Settle said...

I was reading your new post "Menace" last night. . . out of the darkness came the voice of my guy asking me what the heck I was laughing about so hysterically? You are *awesome*! I'm so glad my daughter shared your blog with me.

Pamela K said...

That was SO COOL!!! It reminded me of 'Where the Wild Things Are' but better, much better!

--not sure that is right title--the story where the little boy gets sent to his room and he becomes the king of the monsters--

Jean Steel said...

Welcome back. We missed you. ♥

Devie said...

HAHAHA! SO i recently found your blog, and i cannot stop reading. You are hilarious!
The only not so great part is I like to read your blog on breaks at work, and it's really embarrassing to laugh like that seemingly out of no where.
I've frightened my co-workers, like they jump in their seats.
Thanks Allie! I shared the last posts about depression with my family, we all struggle with it too. It's amazing that you turned something so awful into something so funny. What a talent!

travelling crone said...

Rara sent me. She sends me on the best assignments!
Loved it, will be back... hope you will be too.
Must admit, as an adult? Wish I had a dino costume.

Stian Lund said...

The frame where the dino tail disappears around the corner - so cute!

Anonymous said...

Perhaps if you find another dinosaur costume, it'll help with the depression. It'll give you some of that power you experienced as a kid. It might cheer you up at least a bit and that's a start.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for coming back! I'm glad you seem to be doing better. I hope that's the case. You're truly a means of happiness for others by your comedic and artistic powers!! (Also-I absolutely love that you didn't use curse words on this one!!!) Thanks!

travelling crone said...

Ok seriously, how am i going to get anything done today with your ridiculous posts?
And further,
why don't you have a "like" button?
Yeah, you made me laugh again and I seem to be developing an addiction.

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