Menace

Power is intoxicating. Everyone loves having the ability to make their decisions into reality — to think "this should be something that happens," and then actually be able to make that thing happen. 

It is also dangerous. 

And it is especially dangerous when applied to four-year-olds. 

Four-year-olds lack the experience to wield power responsibly. They have no idea what to do with it or how to control it.


But they like it.


The dinosaur costume was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. The previous Halloween, which was the first Halloween I could actually remember, my parents had dressed me as a giant crayon, and the whole experience had been really uncomfortable for me.


But being a dinosaur felt natural.


And powerful. 


The feeling had been slowly intensifying ever since I put the costume on that morning, and, as I stood there in the middle of the classroom, staring off into the distance in an unresponsive power trance, it finally hit critical mass.

I had to find some way to use it. Any way. Immediately.


The other children screamed and fled. The teacher chased me, yelling at me to stop. But I couldn't stop.  I was a mindless juggernaut, a puppet for forces far greater than myself. I had completely lost control of my body. 


All I knew was that being a dinosaur felt very different from being a person, and I was doing things that I had never even dreamed of doing before.


Of course, I had always had the ability to do these things — even as a person — but I didn't know that. I'd just assumed that I was unable.  As a dinosaur, I didn't have any of those assumptions.  It felt like I could do whatever I wanted without fear of repercussions.


The repercussions were also exactly the same as they were before I became a dinosaur.


I just experienced them differently.


My parents had to come pick me up at noon that day.  The teacher explained that it must have been all the Halloween candy.  "Some kids really can't handle sugar," she said.  "It turns them into little monsters."


I suppose it was a reasonable enough conclusion, but it only served as a distraction from the real problem.


The thing about being an unstoppable force is that you can really only enjoy the experience of being one when you have something to bash yourself against. You need to have things trying to stop you so that you can get a better sense of how fast you are going as you smash through them. And whenever I was inside the dinosaur costume, that is the only thing I wanted to do.


The ban on sugar provided a convenient source of resistance. As long as I was not supposed to eat sugar, I could feel powerful by eating it anyway. 


I'm sure the correlation started to seem rather strong after a while. I'd find some way to get sugar into myself, and then — drunk on the power of doing something I wasn't supposed to —I would lapse into psychotic monster mode. To any reasonable observer, it would appear as though I was indeed having a reaction to the sugar.


My parents were so confused when the terror sprees continued even after the house had been stripped of sugar. They were sure they had gotten rid of all of it. . . did I have a stash somewhere? Was I eating bugs or something?

They still weren't suspicious of the costume.  


I lost weeks in a power-fueled haze. I often found myself inside the costume without even realizing I had put it on. One moment, I would be calmly drawing a picture, and the next I'd be robotically stumbling toward my closet where the dinosaur costume was and putting myself inside it.

It started to happen almost against my will.


Surely my parents made the connection subconsciously long before they became aware of what was really going on. After weeks of chaos, each instance punctuated by the presence of the costume, I have to imagine that the very sight of the thing would have triggered some sort of Pavlovian fear response.


They did figure it out eventually, though.


And the costume was finally taken away from me.


I was infuriated at the injustice of it all. I had become quite dependent on the costume, and it felt like part of my humanity was being forcibly and maliciously stripped away.  I cursed my piddling human powers and their uselessness in the situation. If only I could put on the costume . . .  just one more time.


But that was the costume's only weakness — it couldn't save itself. I had to watch helplessly as it disappeared inside a trash bag. 

There was nothing I could do.


And so my reign of power came to an end, and I slowly learned to live as a person again.





937 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Ally's back and better than ever!

Anonymous said...

Yeeesssssss! Thank you!!!!!!!!!

Todd Edwards said...

Oh my god. I'm NOT ALONE.


...As a 4 year old, I too was made to be a crayon for halloween.

Anonymous said...

Glad you're back, Allie! Classic post.

Unknown said...

Now if only we could recapture that feeling when we have the experience to use it wisely... I need dinosaur costume, for adulthood!

Richard Herist said...

a great post!

Terri Armstrong said...

Enjoyed this story.

shokkou said...

Hahaha! Yeah! I pinned a raccoon tail to the back of my pants until i was about 7 years old and some older kids laughed at me so i stopped. I was one of the lost boys from Peter Pan but those older kids didn't know it. Now i just have a secret invisible raccoon tail pinned to my butt and even though i look like a grown up woman, i'm still one of the lost boys from Peter Pan, really.

Anonymous said...

You totally captured "acting out". :)

And fuck them if they can't take a joke.

Annie B. said...

There's something wrong with me...now I want to make a dinosaur costume for my 3 yr old grandson....

Emily said...

Oh, my gosh. The little blue polka dot panties and that face. Hilarious. Another great one! Thank you!

softestbullet said...

Omgggg the reverse Hulk transformation sequence!!

carrie said...

I need a dinosaur costume to wear to work from now on.

Joseph Watkins said...

:)

Anonymous said...

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay everything is better :3

Timboni said...

lol.. giantbulgingmandolphin. has that always been there? :D

Unknown said...

I love your blog so much!!!!

Anonymous said...

Yay!!!

CherylInPeril said...

This is why teachers don't like dress-up day at school. :)

Anonymous said...

OMG I'm so happy for the new post!!!! I was literally on your blog earlier today cracking up for the thousandth time reading the God of Cake, just hoping you would post again! Your drawings and stories are the best!!!

Miss Correct said...

I also was a crayon for Halloween as a child. A giant pink Crayola crayon.

Carrie Acosta said...

I love you for this post. And for answering the "why is he DOING that" question that I often ask about my 3 year old.

Answer: because he is his mother's son.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back~! And another awesome post =)

Anonymous said...

It reminds me of the story of the possessed rubber ducky that someone's parents put on a Tupperware container lest the evil continue to infect their house.

Laura Lopez said...

Sooooo glad you posted again! I check every day!

Crystal said...

My brother had a dinosaur costume which he had to wear for several Halloweens because we were so poor. You're story reminds me that my brother did think he was kind of a badass when he wore it...every year. It never got old.

c753487e-2bcc-11e3-b7de-000bcdca4d7a said...

Wonderful! I love your charming, whimsical drawing style while addressing deep, unfathomable subjects. Made my day!

Kay Kauffman said...

Hmmm...This sounds suspiciously like what I suspect goes on in the mind of my two-year-old. Except he doesn't have a dinosaur costume.

Maybe it's the clothes. Winter is coming; surely bundling him up will stop the terror? :)

Tami & Tori said...

I am so glad that you are feeling well enough to come back to your blog. I've missed you very much.

Amber said...

You still have a lot of power....look how happy you made us all with your post! Welcome back! Hope you don't need to leave again. We love you!

Blondzilla said...

I have a dinosaur costume in my closet. Right now.

Mythyc said...
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M Callaghan said...
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Arehuz said...

Allie's back!!!

And her book is out! This made my day. No it didn't---- it made my month :D

I want to buy from a source which gets the most money to her the artist so am buying it through Indie-Bound, with the hope that this is the number one way to support my all-time favorite online artist.

If anyone knows of an even more direct source, do let us know.

...

Finally, a major shout out to Allie for her reference to Calvin & Hobbes' dinosaur strips here. Greatness knows and emulates greatness....

Josh Hochstetler said...

Finding out that you had a new post up made this an amazing evening. Thanks so much for all the laughter!!

Arehuz said...

Allie's back!!!

And her book is out! This made my day. No it didn't---- it made my month :D

I want to buy from a source which gets the most money to her the artist so am buying it through Indie-Bound, with the hope that this is the number one way to support my all-time favorite online artist.

If anyone knows of an even more direct source, do let us know.

...

Finally, a major shout out to Allie for her reference to Calvin & Hobbes' dinosaur strips here. Greatness knows and emulates greatness....

Anonymous said...

You make people happy with this. Thank you.Thank you so much.

RabbitGrey said...

I didn't have the costume. I had hats. They had the powers.
Thank you for sharing!
(I still have hats)

Jubtron said...

I LOVE that this was told more with pictures than words. Great to see more work from you!

Unknown said...

I sense a metaphor. Even if I'm wrong, thank you for the laughs anyway!

SDMC said...

Hello. You don't know me, but you have inadvertently made a comic about my childhood. I had this exact costume, and I was a horrible monster. My mind is blown so hard right now.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant and hilarious as always... :)

Nova said...

Ah, it's great to hear from you again, Allie! I love reading your little stories. I've missed you! How have you been? And your adorable dogs, how are they? I hope things keep getting better for you.

Oh! Can't wait for your book to come out! That's this month, right?

From a long time reader,
Nova

Rachel B said...

YES! YOU ARE BACK!!!!! And I totally had a cape like this.

Anonymous said...

welcome back Allie.

Lexi said...

Yay! I missed you! And I love love love this one- you are so brilliant! Thank you!

StacySix said...

Daaaang, you had cool parents! When I was that little, I only got to dress up as goody-goody things like Winne the Pooh.

Of course, now I'm picturing Pooh-bear going on a honey-fueled bender. Thanks.

:D

Railenthe Zeal said...

Seeing you again has made my day!

Anonymous said...

OH MY YAY! NEW HYPERBOLE AND A HALF JUST IN TIME FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!

librarylyon said...

Excellent to be reading you again! You were missed.

I had a Joan of Arc costume as a child. Much powerful sword swinging, and also some serious martyrdom.

Sarahmcdaniel said...

Love it!

kat said...

Note to self: NO DINOSAUR COSTUMES. The two-year-old is bad enough as she is.

(Though given her temperament, princess/queen outfits are gonna be offlimits too.)

bellananda said...

ALLIE'S BACK!!!!!!!!

Finding a moment that makes my day: check. :D

Olivia Prager said...
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Krisann Gentry said...

I was once a chocolate milk carton. Not very powerful, but certainly adorable. And mobility-crippling. My mother was happy with it.

Stephanie said...

Love it. My daughter has a costume almost just like that. She wore it every day for a couple of years. Now I know why.

Anonymous said...

Oh Allie. I just found your blog (through a friend's facebook sharing of your pain post) and ran up against your wonderful depression posts with the great pauses. So I've been reading your old stuff (with awe and sore sides) and hoping for your quick return. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in such a striking way.

Liv said...

I've been reading this since seventh grade and I was so sad when you had a difficult time and were gone for a couple of years. I'm so glad you're back! I've read all of your posts and you're one of the funniest people ever :)

Anonymous said...

So glad to see you back Allie, I thought you was dead ;_;

Wendy Fonseca said...

Yeaaahhhh! Costume power

trinlayk said...

About a week ago, I re-read the saga of the grandfather's birthday cake...

I laughed so hard I was crying.

I love this story too... though in my head it's titled either "I Was a Toddler Dinosaur!!!" (In a sort of "I was a TEEN WEREWOLF" trailer tone.)

Or "Possessed by The Ghost of a Velociraptor."

So much love to you.

Anonymous said...

I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day- and this just made it all better :-D

windrider127 said...

This could explain why my parents always dressed me as useless things like flowers and angels...

The Cat and the Cabbage said...

This makes my world a much better place. Thank you <3

annotations said...

I finally understand how/why dinosaurs became extinct.

Thanks for the fantastic post.

Anonymous said...

Forget wishing I had a dinosaur costume as a child...this makes me want one as an adult! I'd wear it to all my classes. My profs would just be like: O.O

Atalisaurus said...

I have been making myself and my friends fleece dino onsies for a few years now... hoods, spikes, tails, claws, the works, (really they are just really just adult sized dino costumes for any occasion in life!) I knew they were awesome... but now I also know why.... :)

Thank you! You're amazing.

Liss Scott said...

ALLIE, YOU'RE BACK :D !!!!

and I've just realized you've never seen me before lol.

I'm Liss! *waves* I was introduced to your blog during the hiatus and didn't want to be uber creepy by commenting on posts from like twenty-six eternities ago and thus resisted my ability to ramble on and on and on on the internet. I'm pretty sure that's been shot now. Though I'm trying not to write an entire novel.

Anyway, I think you just made my whole entire life with this post. My sides hurt from laughing XD

all I can think about is how little AllieZilla (awesome term, Amanda Mae Voodoo) grew up into badass Allie-and-Bruce!

I'll stop before risking your eyes burning. You're the best!!!

Anonymous said...

Eeeeee! You're back!!!!

And hilarious! You're lucky you got to be a dinosaur. My parents always dressed me as really esoteric things...

Gulf Coast Girl said...

Love the costume, but the blue polka dotted big girl panties were icing on the cake.

Shaay said...

As always, Allie, you are amazing. Thank you for this!

I notice that you are either willing to reveal more in your writing, or having more isights to reveal, about yourself as a young person since you wrote about getting the cake. The link between sugar and power is really fascinating.

Brains are interesting and scary places, aren't they?

Big hugs to you as you carry on. Hoping that you are continuing to recover and love yourself.

Jeff said...

I really liked this, Alot.

Jeanie Weber said...

I didn't have a costume, but when I was 4 I pretended I was a dog for two weeks. I only barked, walked on all fours, and refused to eat anything other than cheerios out of a bowl, on the floor, under the table. They made me stop :(

Mary said...

I love the new story of dinosaur Allie! And you have no idea how much you brightened my day. A thousand thank yous for sharing your talent with us!

Gina said...

I felt that exact same way except with my Disney Belle costume. And I sat exact because I pulled the stuff you did except with a Belle costume. I went on rampage looking for that thing when it disappeared. My life has never been the same since.

Anonymous said...

We should all be more like dinosaurs.

Heidi Shah said...

Allie!!!!!

This pic is your next merchandise art:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/10/menace.html

Please? That will rock on a t-shirt with the crayon lines wrapping as far around as the shop can manage. And a full shot of the dinosaur tail included. I would buy a metric pantload of those and force my offspring to wear them.

Shannon B. said...

Glad to see yo back. This is awesome.

Anonymous said...

I'm already feeling the pain of what my preschool class is going to be doing for the next month as they plan for and execute their own disguises/sugar binges. Help us all.

Amy said...

I don't know what that effect is where the foreground/background is out of focus and vice versa, but that is COOL! Also, I really thought the crayon costume was adorable/pitiful/hilarious.

I was a latch key kid and used to eat spoonfuls of sugar as an after school snack.

majikfaerie said...

Knowing that my comment will be lost in the sea of comments, I'll just say this to myself on a public post: being in a very bad (emotional and psychological) place recently, I have taken to wearing a mask every time I go out in public.
A mask that is the simple form of a little makeup, but still, as a woman in her mid 30s who had never ever worn makeup, just a little eyeliner and mascara feels like an impenetrable mask. I am totally invulnerable. I am kick ass. Nothing can stop me.

Anonymous said...

Soooo happy that you didn't give up on this story… all things happen inexactly the right time!!!!

I am flippin' dinosaur… hear me RRRRoOoAaAaRRRR!!!

Anonymous said...

I had a Sonic the Hedgehog costume that gave me similar powers when I was a kid.

Tammy said...

My life is once again complete. I have more Hyperbole and a Half. <3

RES said...

You are a hella cute dinosaur and still have the wildness inside you, even without the costume. Oh, and I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE BOOK!!!

Tammy said...

My life is once again complete. I have more Hyperbole and a Half. <3

Alice said...

Ha! Loved it!! I am still this way with Halloween costumes on occasion...

Juliana said...

So... t-shirts of the first panel? I will wear it and become drunk with power.

Tammy said...

My life is once again complete. I have more Hyperbole and a Half. <3

Helen said...

You're back you're back you're really really back! I feel like I've been waiting for this moment all my life. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK! THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK!

Corbin Putz said...

This is a thing. A thing with words! And happiness!
WOO!

House of Rose said...

So very glad to see you back! I kinda can't believe that someone else already posted that they had the SAME all powerful Wonder Woman Underoos that I also had as a child. I loved those things so much I flashed them to my ENTIRE second grade class (several of whom never let me forget it). They were the BEST, best underwear ever! I was so powerful in those. Thank you so much for your story that reminded me of my own memory of childhood power. :-)

sillymagpie said...

Love it! And I love the dinosaur costume. Maybe that's what happens to superheroes and villains in the comic-book world. They get a costume and next thing you know...

caitlinhart said...

you are my hero.

Anonymous said...

Really great illustrations this time!! The sequence from drawing a picture to putting the costume on was especially great. Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. Your updates really make my day.

I hope all is better than it was before.

Brent Spinden said...

Thank you for such a beautiful post. Welcome back Allie. Can't wait for your book!

Untypically Jia said...

OMG My husband and I were thrilled to see a post! So amazing! Not only was it hilarious and told a strangely deep story, but you have such a way of conveying words without putting them on the screen. The whole bit with your mother putting everything together killed me! It was so genius!

Gia said...

blblbllbbllb I totally make a dinosaur costume post last week (http://mayorgia.blogspot.com/2013/09/halloween-costume-idea-dinosaur.html) ! Really, not the same, obvi. Yours is a gajillion times awesomer.

tikisinspace said...

This strangely inspires me to make at the very least a dinosaur jacket, complete with spiney knobs to wear with my attitude. Finally. Something to blame it on. YaY!!

Anonymous said...

I know 30-year-old cosplayers who are still exactly like this. Laws don't apply if you're in a costume, right? ...Right?? Great post as always. <3

Unknown said...

i think the protagonist might be a girl.

The Freckled 1 said...

Awesome comic. I can't express how happy this made me. From when I was 4-12 I had this pair of Dinosaur Pajamas (a family friend had sewn on a dinosaur tail to the back of a green sweatshirt and bought a pair of matching pants). I would wear it EVERYWHERE. School, grocery store, you name it. Eventually my parents told me that I was too old for it and made me stop wearing it. I hadn't thought about it in years. Thank you.

P.S. Your comics on depression really helped me get through a bad point. Keep up the awesome work.

Anonymous said...

Interesting, My son wants to be an alligator for Halloween. The costume I am looking at to purchase looks very similar. -Kristina

Queen Holly the Magnificent said...

Sometimes I think of it as the reverse, like I have to put on my adult costume and go to work. Instead of eating candy by the handful and playing video games till 1am.

agentannya said...

I am in love with this story! I had a shirt that my mother hated but it made me feel the same way. After I cracked my head open and had to get stitches while wearing it she confiscated it and, I'm guessing, threw it out. I think I want to be a dinosaur for Halloween this year now. <3

Miss Adventure said...

Golly, I adore reading your posts! I read this while at work today. I can't explain what it's like to stand in the middle of my works lobby. Security guards chattering in the corner, women's heels clattering on the marble floor, and me... giggling like an idiot while staring at my phone in the middle of it all. I'm sure I'll be asked to take a random drug test soon because of that.

gwoodstrom said...

LOVE this! LOVE you! So happy you're back.

Jill said...

Thank you! You've incited happy dancing, I'll have you know.

Anonymous said...

It seems like age four was a really intense time for you. At the slightest trigger (cake, a dinosaur costume), you became a little ball of primal rage.

laurapetri said...

We don't celebrate Halloween in my country so never had that costume experience. The closest I've been to that experience is hiding under the bed, reading and totally losing myself in the book. I have the power of invisibility in those moments ( very important when you share a room)

Chasing Yellowbird said...

Really cool use of shadow when your mom finds you in the kitchen!

Robinhj said...

Even adults feel empowered in a costume. I am sure you follow The Bloggess who can't function without her wig. You should get another costume and let yourself go!

Zack said...

WOOHOO

That was a great read!

Noel Quinn said...
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Anonymous said...

Had this same costume when I was a kid. But I never thought of drawing with ketchup and mustard on the floor. Wish I could go back and redo!

Noel Quinn said...

Loved it !

mandariins said...

I had similar thing with my overalls or....POWERALLS!
It's so awesome to see you back!

Sandie Smith said...

YAY! Alie's back!

aFalcon said...

Honey, you best gimme summa your sugar lest I need to get it myself.

LOVE YOU!

Zoltan Papp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zoltan Papp said...

Just two weeks ago I realised, you disappeared again. Now I am glad, you posted here again.

Cindy C. said...

I had a dinosaur costume that I wore with a pig nose. Jurassic Pork!

Ronda said...

Excellent!

Anonymous said...

You are incredible!

So glad you are back!!

bobby said...

Hi. The way you tell stories is sublime. I hope they are as cathartic for you as they are endearing for me.

-b

Kompani said...

Brilliant, thanks.

Alice said...

Yaaaaayyy!!!! I'm so glad you posted something new and it came at the perfect time for me, because I was having a terrible day and laughing so hard made me feel much better. Thanks!! And now tomorrow will be better because I will just remember that we're all dinosaurs on the inside. :)

Anonymous said...

The eyes! Those amazing, creepy, crazy three-d "I'm a dinosaur" eyes! When I first noticed them, I thought I was seeing things. Thank you so much for the laughs.

Megan Taylor said...

I was a tiger as a child. Thank you for illustrating such a powerful moment in my adolescence.

Brian said...

As always—poignant, insightful, and hilarious.

Auntie M said...

WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!

You've probably had a lot of readers (got to believe there were others besides me!) worried over you!

It's good to see you in action and to see your marvelous talents again!!!!!!

Keri said...

YAY!!!! I'm glad to see a post!! It's awesome as always! =D

lost_dm said...

You made my day!

A said...

The most amazing psychological profile of childhood EVAR (well, since the cake post). Some adults just don't get it.

So, so, SO glad to have you back.

serenaeta said...

Allie! You're back! Thank you so much for the new post, you had me giggling and breathless as ever!

Anonymous said...

You write so well! You should write for a children's book. Or make your own website. :) - Kimberly (Philippines)

Anonymous said...

thanks for that! So super funny! Just pre-ordered four of your book. One for myself and the rest as special gifts to the people I love! Hope you're getting better! xxxx
Laure in Dubai

Kafka said...

If only I was as excitable over other things as I am over seeing a little "1" in your RSS... (like for example trying to find a job, idk)
I never had such a powerful costume – I would usually alternate between a cat and a mouse for Fasching and I think I mostly went as a witch on Halloween. Mouse and especially cat made extremely ambitious to stay in character, but I somehow always stayed cute. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

four copies, sorry

Granny said...

Mom's dawning realization ... the underpants .... the parent's glazed eyes as they contemplate how do dispose of the Costume of Evil .... PRICELESS!

Anonymous said...

Go Allie! Thanks for still rss-ing

Anonymous said...

You're back! *happy dance* On a side note, just as great as the previous ones.

Heather Beisly said...

Obviously it's funny to think about a little kid acting it in bizarre ways (and you're such a good story teller!) But there is something very sad about this, that you felt out of control, unnoticed, and powerless without the costume. these can be difficult things to deal with as you get older! I hope you are telling stories again to help you figure all of it out. Also I wish I could take away all if the comments guilt trips about you leaving them hanging, as if you owe them or me anything. Pleasure to read, as always. Hope you're happy and healthy. Xx

The Darkmage said...

It's good to have you back, Allie. I've never experienced real depression but I have a very close friend who has struggled with it for years. reading your depression post was heart wrenching. I'm so glad you are on your way out the other side.

It really is good to have you back.

Heather Beisly said...

Obviously it's funny to think about a little kid acting it in bizarre ways (and you're such a good story teller!) But there is something very sad about this, that you felt out of control, unnoticed, and powerless without the costume. these can be difficult things to deal with as you get older! I hope you are telling stories again to help you figure all of it out. Also I wish I could take away all if the comments guilt trips about you leaving them hanging, as if you owe them or me anything. Pleasure to read, as always. Hope you're happy and healthy. Xx

Chris said...

Allie!

You live! Yay, welcome back to the Internet! :)

(I'm a hermit and your comic is one small joy in my life. Awkward, no?)

Unknown said...

I was an ape from Planet of The Apes.
I understand this 100%.
My costume suffered the same fate.

Anonymous said...

YESSS! Hyperbole and a Half lives!! Please know that my sister and I survive on your stories and reread them any time we feel down. Thank you for distracting us from the less happy parts of life, Allie. You are completely and entirely awesome!

Thusitha said...

Outstanding. Maybe I should invest in a dinosaur costume.

Thusitha said...

Outstanding. Maybe I should invest in a dinosaur costume.

TMF said...

Speaking of Power...you have the power to make an awful lot of people feel very good. Thanks for what you do and glad to see your great post today!

June said...

I want a dinosaur costume.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic! I had the same experience one night in college with an ape costume and never had it again.

Jeff Rubarth said...

my friends told me i *had* to share this with you: much apologies to JRR Tolkien,

Three Costumes for the Children-kind under the sky,
Seven for the older lads in their halls of school,
Nine for little ones doomed to roam,
One for the 4 yr old in his dark mood,
In the Land of Sugar where Chaos lies,
One suit to rule them all, one suit to find them,
One suit to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Sugar where Chaos lies.

Anonymous said...

I like my inner menace. She makes me bigger and fearless too. I also am liking my inner peace-nic. I can stay calm and decide to not make a mess.But still be fiercely strong.

Daniel Peragine said...

Splendid. Just splendid. Your posts are always absolutely amazing!

Alenônimo said...

Relive!

http://www.halloweencostumes.com/adult-t-rex-dinosaur-costume.html

vegdread.com said...

Brilliant! What a lovely birthday surprise for meeeeee!

Anonymous said...

This is fucking hilarious. But more than that, it's astounding that you can convey so much emotion in your art with the tiniest differences, all while making the drawing seem "bad". You're incredibly talented. Hope you're feeling ok.

Anonymous said...

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Lovely surprise!

Daniel Peragine said...

Splendid. Just splendid. Your posts are always absolutely amazing!

Anonymous said...

the costume..... i had it in gold..........................

Unknown said...

As always, both insightful and hilarious! The sequence going from happy painter to raging costume monster will have me giggling to myself all day long.

t00bz said...

This really made an impact on me in a way I can't put into words quite yet. I very much like it, thank you.

Mike said...

Although my Mac decided to randomly block a few of the pictures, I liked that. Thank you for your constant story telling. It's nice. And since I finished reading everything yesterday, I'm very glad I got to read a new post the day after. But now I'm afraid that I'm going to develop a post withdrawal disease thing and become sad because you can't post infinitely. But I am looking forward to more words. And pictures. I like those.

Ok this comment lost it's point so I'm killing it. Bye! Thanks again!

Devon said...

I am so glad to see you back, I love your blog so much!

Michael Fischer said...

the transformation into dinosaur child is a really good panel sequence. you can take my word as an expert too since i've read the first 35 issues of spawn.

Julie said...

This is so brilliant.

cristy said...

Yay!!!!!!!!!

Marianne said...

This is fabulous! I just found your blog a few weeks ago & have been working through all of the archives...I have laughed so dang much!
Also...Your posts on depression were amazing. Thank you. I live with a person who has been battling depression for the past several years and your explanation is the first one that makes any sense to me.

Reka said...

You and your drawings are amazing, give us moooooooore. (addictive like sugar:)

Unknown said...

It was nice to meet your Dad finally.

Karen Stokes said...

So do certain congresspersons have dino costumes in their closets?

Karen Stokes said...

So do certain congresspersons have dino costumes in their closets?

Karen Stokes said...

So do certain congresspersons have dino costumes in their closets?

Jenn said...

I think this is my favorite art ever in the history of your comics.

Anonymous said...

Hey, a new post. That's pretty cool, I like new Hyperbole posts. Thanks!

Kelsey said...

This happens to me every time I start to lose my voice. I feel like a badass, don't get in my way.

Anonymous said...

In 1966, it was a Batman cape.

Cat Buchanan said...

It's so good to see a blog post! I know (from personal experience) that they will probably be sporadic for a while, but I am happy to see every one.

Lisa said...

Ohhh, Thank you, Allie! What a wonderful surprise for my birthday today. AWESOME!!!!!! <3

Brenda said...

AMAZING

Cindy said...

I love you and have missed you!!!!!!ROOOOOAAAAAARRRRR

Anonymous said...

I loved it

Vanna said...

OMG, I had a green dino costume just like that as a kid! Great story, one of your best

hortophilus said...

I always love your work, but I am especially impressed by the quality of the artwork in this post. It's fantastic and you're fantastic, too. Keep up the excellent work!

Laurelle said...

Seeing your new post made my morning awesome!!

I love the drawing of you experiencing your "time out" as a T-Rex... so hilarious!

Rebecca said...

Uh oh, my daughter is going to be a dinosaur this Halloween. Now I'm scared!!

Anonymous said...

I think Barack Obama needs a dinosaur suit for his next meeting with John Boehner.

Anonymous said...

My middle school science teacher's four year old son was taking violin lessons and for Halloween all the little kids were allowed to wear their costumes to a recital. His costume was a dinosaur. The tail was stuffed and stuck out straight behind him. As soon as all the kids were up on stage he lost it and began knocking all the other kids down with his monstrous tail. I think he may have even bit some kids. Apparently dinosaur costumes and four year olds equal utter chaos and destruction.

Melissa Long said...

LOL LOL LOL Dino costume and Lil Allie in undies? AWESOME POST!

Anonymous said...

This must be my reward for buying an "alot" mug yesterday. Thanks :)

Mel-A-Phobic said...

Best Blog...EVAH!!!!!

Anonymous said...

LOVE THIS

Nancy J said...

baahahah Love it! Reminds me of my cousin..but she was like that with out the dinosuar costume

Jessica Gish Bergin said...

Fabulous! Thanks for creating this. :)

Emerald Kraft said...

I'm sooo super happy you're back I missed reading this blog!!!!

Lori said...

Yay!!!!

Fred said...

Great story! You are a fine writer!

Anonymous said...

you're back! you're back! you're back! and in fine form!

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